Usually about 10 minutes into my yoga class, I find myself muttering silently, "Why the hell am I doing this to myself?" as I stick my butt high into the air in downdog, teeter in Warrior III and pant at the exertion of vinyasa. I realize that it is hard to reverse the body's decline after taking it granted for most of my life. Here I am on the far side of 50 and am following slavishly the orders of a teacher who is nearly 20 years my junior -- so much for the benefits of finding a guru.
Fortunately, this mindset gets diluted in the effort to keep up with the flow. I catch my second wind, stop thinking about how I look to others, and dissolve into the moment of breath and intention. I am finally rewarded with cleansing and find out why I bother with yoga.
My all-important goal this year is awareness. I've gotten over the hump of learning most of the asanas. I may not be able to have perfect form -- or I may be much better than I feared, as I learned with the jump-back in vinyasa. It is awareness that is going to let me see clearly where I am, where my obstacles lie and how I might climb them.
My main yoga studio, Thrive Yoga, will be celebrating its first anniversary on February 8 and there should be special things happening.
A guest instructor, Simon Park, does qualify as something special at Thrive. He will be holding a weekend of workshops on March 24-26. He blends Ashtanga, martial arts, Thai massage and partner yoga.
This morning in my yoga class at Thrive, I was able to jump back from forward fold [Ardha Uttanasana] to staff pose [Chaturanga Dandasana] in the vinyasa sequence for the first time. I had tried it a couple of times before and it was always a jarring experience, with a lot of pressure on my lower back and knees buckling to the floor. One time, I bashed my nose into the floor. Because the jump back landing felt as if I was going to fall apart, I refrained from including it in my routine. I transitioned by stepping back, one leg at a time, to staff pose.
It was strange this morning because I was suffering through the class, in part because I think I was underhydrated. Halfway through the class, I was feeling thirsty and I do not normally need to have a bottle of water with me. In any case, I was being cautious about not over-extending myself so it surprised me that on the last vinyasa of the morning, I decided to try the jump back. I landed it without any problems. After class, I tried the move a couple of times, just to confirm that my success was not a fluke or a stroke of luck. I guess I am being rewarded for the work at strengthening my core.
Since I've been able to do wheel [Urdhva Dhanurasana] and crow poses [Balasana] almost every class, I feel as if I am consolidating my practice. The biggest flaws are my one-leg balances and inversions, like headstand and shoulderstand.
[monthlyyogadvd.com] is an interesting commercial venture to allow you to subscribe to a service that sends you a DVD a month. The first teacher is Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa, the co-founder and director of Golden Bridge Nite Moon, Los Angeles and a leading Kundalini teacher.
Personally, I don't know if I could consume one yoga DVD a month. I have one DVD that I bought three years ago and really have not worked my way through the whole thing.
Yoga Spirit offers lectures by top-knotch yoga instructors via the phone at a modest cost (about $20 per hour):
Yoga Spirit's tele-classes are live, interactive training classes conducted over the telephone through state-of-the-art teleconferencing bridge systems. You will receive timely knowledge, tools and techniques over the telephone that can benefit your life, teaching, practice and business immediately.
Among the teachers participating are Judith Hansaon Lasater, Amy Weintraub, Elise Miller and Paul Grilley. Lat year they had Shiva Rea. Some of these lectures are for fellow yoga teachers who want to get insight into teaching certain techniques, but I could see any yoga practitioner get a lot out of the classes. If you are in a region that does not have many big-name teachers coming through your area and you can't afford to go to a retreat or a yoga conference, then this would be a great chance to hear some interesting yoga experts.
If you can't make it to the lecture at the appointed time, you will still pick up the class by listening to a recording.
Yesterday, I issued a complaint against Christmas spirits. That same evening, I went to a yoga class and was rewarded with a practice that confirmed that yoga can still deliver even though I am not in top form. I did some nice, deep twists, and also moved into wheel without major obstacles, without giving it a second thought as I pushed myself into the backbend. I found myself saying, "And why was this pose so difficult for me for so long?" There is an answer to that question, but it would take longer than I want to invest tonight.
I have limped through the holidays, and now, several days on the other side of the Holiday Season, I can say that I hate the disruption that the holidays introduced into my yoga practice. I stopped going to classes (reduced schedules at my yoga studios), too many other family issues to keep me off the mat, and plenty of excuses to justify the relapse. I put on five pounds because of the huge meals our family consumed, the abundance of treats, and a general lack of restraint. When I finally got back to my yoga practice, the first sessions were torture. My extra pounds felt like a tombstone around my neck. I had to drop into child's pose to regain my breath. I've struggled to regain my momentum, but it's come back little by little.
Bandha Yoga: Scientific Keys to Unlock the Practice of Hatha Yoga has fantastic illustration of the skeletal and muscular framework for doing yoga. The book is expensive at $48, but its unique perspective makes it different than any yoga book that I have seen so far. There is a 32 page sample chapter that you can examine to see if you want to bite.
Ray Long MD is a board certified orthopedic surgeon and the founder of Bandha Yoga. Long studied at The University of Michigan Medical School with post-graduate training at Cornell University, McGill University, The University of Montreal and Florida Orthopedic Institute. He has studied hatha yoga for over 20 years, training extensively with B.K.S. Iyengar, among others.
The illustrator is Chris Macivor, a graduate of Etobicoke School of The Arts, Sheridan College and Seneca College.
Throughout 2005, I participated in an online/e-mail course that was led by Kelly McGonigal. We were supposed on answer the question "Can yoga change your life?" Here's my response:
Answering the question "Can yoga change your life?" is is a lot harder than I would have though 12 months ago -- more complicated, more subtle, more covert. To answer it in one sitting is almost impossible since I have consciously chosen to nurture my silence as part of my practice. When I started the course, I was eager to lay out my experience for all to see. As my yoga experience has matured, deepened and broadened, I have become less concerned with writing about it explicitly.This cure of silence is best summed up in my personal mantra -- "let the yoga take care of it," with "it" being whatever distraction, worry or whim is pulling me out of the present moment. That mantra sums up what has changed in my life in a year that seemed to swing me in opposite directions. At the worst moments (when I was literally in an employment limbo, not knowing if I was drawing a salary), I turned to my refuge in yoga, pranayama and meditation -- and through my practice, I could return myself to a baseline of my intrinsic humanity, peace, and balance. By saying "Let the yoga take care of it" I recognize the hidden powers that I possess, and trust that I will eventually tap into them -- or accept that the dynamic is beyond my control and that I just have to ride the moment.
Pattabhi Jois likes to say, "Yoga is 99% practice, 1% theory." He may have his percentages wrong -- or they may vary at different stages of your practice's maturity -- but the underlying principle is true: You just have to show up on the mat with the intention of practicing honestly and genuinely. You don't even have to try hard. I found that I acquire a whole new vista on my practice when I decided not to push my effort to the max, that I should focus on being aware of my body and my breath. The more I practice, the more I am rewarded in unexpected ways.
Paradoxically, my mantra "let the yoga take care of it" has the opposite effect. By releasing me from my preconceived mindset, I gained a sense of freedom and control over my body, my mind and my life. For almost all of my life, I've felt as if I was at the mercy of forces beyond my control -- that I was at risk of doing something wrong and I was often beset by a sense of impending doom. This self-imposed stress accentuated my own predisposition to depression. Since I did not know that I was depressed, my sense of helplessness and despair was even more intense. I always seemed to be battling from behind, at a disadvantage.
Since I started with yoga, pranayama and meditation, I feel that now I have the physical, mental and spiritual tools that allow me to manage my life, that allows me to restore my balance. I still get into trouble when I forget that I have these tools at my disposal. But since I get to go to yoga classes, they bring me back to my refuge.
I feel at a loss to express what's going on inside me, but I am going to take another year of the online course, this time dealing with the Yoga of Connection.
